Why I had to break my own rule
As many of you who have attended any of my groups or training will know I think ‘Why?’ should be removed from our conversation and relegated to the science lab and two year olds only.
Why? Because often the answer is: ‘Because I am not good enough, I am too old, too stupid…’
Why is a question that prompts our logical thinking mind to trawl through the filing cabinets of our past experiences to find the answer – usually in response to a negative question. Why have I done that? Why does this always happen to me? Why did they do that? Why did I miss out on…?
I’m sure you get the message.
Now I am going to break my own rule.
Why can be a powerful ally when we ask ‘Why am I saying or doing this?’
In this instance ’Why’ helps us determine the underlying intent and expectation of our words and actions. We can then decide whether it fits our values and desired growth. It might help us move back into neutral and say nothing. A powerful tool indeed.
Or perhaps the question reveals a desire to be needed, liked, included. Or perhaps it is to hurt and inflict pain, guilt or manipulate someone to do your bidding. Lovely fodder for spiritual growth and maturity don’t you think?
So I’m letting ‘Why?’ out of the science lab on occasions so I can say what I mean and mean what I say (to quote Dr Seuss – Horton the Elephant hatches and egg).
What rules to you need to break? Has this helped you live more consciously?
I’d love to hear your comments.